Thoughts of a Birthmother

Hi everyone! This is Sasha, writing a post for my mom's blog.

Last night I showed my mom a poem, I submited for a scholarship opportunity. I wrote it last year, and I thought I would share it on the blog.

Thoughts of a Birthmother

Two roads diverged, a choice to make.
How did she decide?
She felt as though she might just break
the pressure--she could no longer take
it, the fight inside of her had almost died.
She knew an easy way out.
She knew there was a quick way.
She could have taken the easy route,
only if there was no doubt.
But she knew that choice would haunt her from that very day.
She also had another choice.
A choice much harder said then done.
Her eyes were moist,
but she knew should one day rejoice
over her decision from which she could not run.
She chose the harder way instead.
She chose the pain, the tears to be
the one who gave her daughter life who lead
her to a new life and I think, as I lay upon my bed
"I'm so grateful she chose me".

I just thought this would be a great opportunity to share my story.

I was adopted from Russia at 17 months old. My birthmom was 16 years old. This poem is about her.

I am so grateful for my family that God placed me in, words can't even begin to describe how I feel. I know He has a plan for my life--one so much greater than I can even imagine right now! My dad always say "God plucked you out of that orphanage for a reason, Sasha" and I believe that is true.I believe he wants me to serve Him and to tell others my story.

Speaking of my dad, I thought I should share one more thing. A few months ago, my dad and I went to see the movie October Baby. It is about a girl who finds out she was adopted and the victim of a failed abortion. Just recently, we watched it again with my mom at home.  It is a great movie, with a powerful story of forgiveness. However, my favorite scene is at the end.

Hannah is heading off to college, and she and her parents are saying their goodbyes. She turns and starts to walk away with her friend. Then, you see her look back over her shoulder, at her dad.
She runs back to him, and they wrap each other in a hug. She says, with tears and a smile on her face,
"Thank you, so much Dad."
He replies "For what, sweetheart?" And Hannah says,
"For wanting me."

Both times I have watched the movie, it moved me to tears. That part reminds me so much of my relationship with my own dad, and my love for him. I love him so much, and am so blessed that my Heavenly Father chose him to be my father here on Earth. And I'm so thankful he saw the potential in my life...

And Wanted Me.

Psalm 68:5-6